While the journey to Gulu, Uganda was not particularly
peaceful or comforting, I find myself in awe of the tranquility and simplicity
of this town.
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| Stocks of green bananas being sold at the settlement |
Before arriving here on October 8th, I traveled to Mbarara
and Kampala, the country's prized locale of commerce and economic activity. In
Mbarara, I met with refugees located in the Nakivale settlement (separate from a refugee camp because it's more permanent). Although
the conversation started off very quietly, awkward and nondescript, the
refugees eventually began to tell a completely different version of the
Genocide, several of them insinuating a double genocide occurring in 1994.
Throughout the conversation, I tried to remain calm and keep
an open mind to their alternative perspective, including a different
perspective on Operation Turquoise, a french-led military operation before the
auspices of the United Nations Assistance Mission for Rwanda, which seemingly
failed in its attempts protect Tutsi lives. These refugees primarily
claimed that there were several atrocities against Hutus which are hardly ever
recognized in the media or in print. One of the refugees went as far as saying
that there were bodies buried in CARE International facilities in Rwanda,
supposing that there was covert yet visible U.S. involvement in hiding Hutu
deaths during the Genocide. He claimed that he could show anyone and knows the
names of the people buried beneath the toilets in Kigali, Rwanda—the place I now
call my second home.
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| The kids from the Rwandan refugee area |
Moreover, other refugees asserted the deplorable realities hidden
beneath the façade of Kigali’s development. They said that it was all an
illusion which we were experiencing—that all muzungus (white people) had been fooled to believing that Rwanda
has actually progressed past its history of unruly violence and ethnic
disparities—and on the periphery of the nation exists daily killings,
kidnapping, and disappearances. Who orchestrates these masked operations? The
merciful President of Rwanda, Paul Kagame. One refugee held that it was a true
misfortune as to how many muzungus blindly accept the facts presented to them
rather than exploring additional narratives to complete a more holistic analysis.
This same refugee went on to accuse the U.S. for supporting the Central African
Republic and Rwanda militarily during its dangerous and perpetrating coups. He
stated that France and the U.S. were practically biological brothers in their
attempts to militarize racial and ethnocentric divides in E. African countries.
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| With Marie, a refugee, and Hannah |
At first, I viewed this narrative with an eye of unaccepting
hostility and defensiveness. I did not understand why these refugees felt the
need to practically attack their inquisitive audience for innocently coming
from America to study and learn more about their thoughts and ideas. Later in
the day, I ran into the man who had accused the U.S. of its partnership with
France and he cordially showed me to the restroom. He was disconnectedly nice
and very respectful. This incongruence in character had my mind spinning.
Despite the positive rapport we had just established, I still felt extremely wary
about fully trusting him. I felt like I was trying to keep an open mind, be
respectful of his cultural environment, and not make blanketing generalizations;
however, I did not feel like my efforts were being reciprocated. Instead, they
were juxtaposed by the man’s assumptions of my privileged culture and white ignorance
when not challenging facts offered by every teacher or book.
(Side note: My roommate, John, can see the visible
frustration on my face while writing and just said that he was going leave me to “brood
and write”, ha).
My first thought was to criticize the man for being sorely
mistaken. The truth is that I certainly question everything I hear or read
because I know that every account has an inherent origin, bias, and limitation.
Hypocritically, the man had also just asked the group of ignorant muzungus to
then follow suit with our “typical behavior” and accept his narrative as fact
without question even though he had just criticized this blind acceptance two
minutes earlier.
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| Church at Nakivale |
This encounter led to a broader group discussion about
truth, truth-telling, and truth acquisition. I philosophically questioned: What
is truth? What can I learn from the refugees at the Nakivale settlement that
does not negate my personal knowledge of the Genocide? I finally came to the
conclusion that it ultimately doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, but that it
is the job of an effective historian (or a 21st century student) to be able to hold two opposing views concurrently and dispose of a natural
obsession with singular truths and be able to instead focus on
multidimensional narratives which lead to a broader encompassing of the conflict
in Rwanda.
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| Quick break from school |
Rather than dismissing these narratives as ignorant, getting
frustrated by personal attacks, or ignoring words because of their potential
cognitive bias or embellished motifs, it is important to include them all in a
larger conceptualization of the Genocide as less black and white, less
perpetrator versus victim—and hopefully towards a direction more deep, complex,
and multiperspectival. In the end, is it truth defined by the majority that
really matters? Or is it the recognition that everyone’s story and viewpoint
matters in its own dignified regard? Perhaps if everyone understood that there
have been crimes committed by both Hutu and Tutsi during or post-genocide, there
would not remain such an ingrained depression and absence of support for
refugees in Nakivale—those who feel like their side of the story is seldom
told. While a double genocide or genocide denial (because a majority of Tutsi
were killed during the Genocide) or a accusations concerning Kagame may not be grounded
in truth, their story is still important because it’s the story they know to be true and the cause of their current maladaptation
and marginalization in refugee settlements.
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| Congolese refugee says, "Peace, man" |
History has always been written by the winners, something my
history teacher from sophomore year of high school used to say. And the ability
to stand in a privileged place and completely dismiss certain narratives for
their potential inaccuracy robs people of their dignity. After all, none of
these people (not just defined by their refugee status) have anything to gain
from lying to a group of strangers. Their lives remain cloaked under the danger
of the single story and their incapacity to leave settlements because of poor
repatriation conditions. Life for refugees remains in a perennial limbo state—one
between the worlds of abandonment of past lives and one of self-advocacy and
subsequent alienation for their stories. I finally understand how crucial it is
to obtain several points of view on complex matters like the Genocide; because
by not doing it, you further marginalize and dispossess a group already hurting
under international and domestic pressure, you blindly accept your own version
of the truth, and you allow history to be told by the educated and privileged
rather than the marginalized and oppressed.
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